Postpartum Depression is NOT your fault. No one knows who will have it and how bad it will be. It’s so important to realize that anything can trigger it. Unrealistic expectations imposed on new mothers by society, by family members, or even by themselves. It could happen in someone with a family history of depression, with the first child or with the third child. There are many factors that come into play, but know that there is help out there.
Whether you have the baby blues or prolonged feelings of depression, the symptoms can come in waves. You could be happy and content one minute and then feeling troubled or even suicidal the next. You could be angry because your partner isn’t helping enough or mad because they keep doing everything to help ease your burden. If you are having feelings where you think family members would be better off without you or thoughts of harming yourself or the baby, seek help immediately. There is NO shame in seeking help. There are emergency walk-in clinics available with staff ready to help ease your burden and help you feel back to your old self. It might take time, but you’re worth it!
Four ways to help yourself:
- Get enough exercise: Try to go for a walk with the baby or even ask a neighbor to hold them while you take a walk around the block. Find another mom who’s been through postpartum depression and walk together. Sometimes chatting with someone going through the same thing helps.
- Forgive yourself for not doing things: Now is NOT the time to clean the house, put together the perfect scrap book, or be romantic with your spouse if you’re not up for it. Don’t feel that you need to put everyone else's needs before yours. Taking care of mama bear helps everyone in the family! Focus on the important things, you, your health, and your emotional well-being.
- Talk to someone: It doesn’t matter who, but tell someone close to you how you are feeling. Don't keep your feelings bottled up. It can take time for postpartum depression to go away and it’s important to share your feelings. Don’t isolate yourself or avoid friends because you don’t want to bother them. No one is perfect, and they just might be feeling the same way and be relieved they’re not alone so you can help each other through this!
- Tell your partner how they can help: It’s so important for partners to realize that it is not your fault how you’re feeling. Show them this. Ask them to field calls and let family know now is not the best time for visitors. They can help do chores you are finding overwhelming, support you, and listen to your fears and feelings without judgement. Partners tend to try to fix things, but sometimes all you want is comfort and a shoulder to cry on. Recognize when you need more experienced help and ask them to make an appointment with a postpartum depression counselor. Reaching out to the hospital where you gave birth, a midwife, or your OBGYN is a great first start.
Food for Thought:
Try some of these great foods to help improve your mood. Eating foods rich in essential fatty-acids like EPA/DHA found in extra virgin olive oil, olives, avocados and salmon, or Vitamins B (especially B6, B12, and folate), Vitamin D, and even trace minerals like Magnesium, Zinc, Iron, and Selenium. These minerals get depleted during pregnancy so it’s important to replenish them after birth. Try to eat something every 3-4 hours and drink plenty of water.
- Organic eggs - They are packed with protein, plus they have vitamin D and B which is known to help. Nutrient deficiencies have been linked to depression. Scramble up some eggs with spinich, a dark leafy green packed with vitamin B that helps breast milk production, and use a little extra virgin olive oil or coconut oil to cook them together. Add a slice of 12 grain toast plus a glass of almond milk and you’re ready to face the day!.
- Whole Grains - Serotonin is a natural mood stabilizer. Whole grains are rich in fiber, iron, and help keep your blood sugar stable. Eat things like oats (even overnight oats), brown rice, or whole wheat pasta. They provide the body with complex carbohydrates it needs for energy, healthy digestion, and regularity. (Staying regular after birth is definitely a plus. My go-to was dried cherries as a snack or a spinach, strawberry, flaxseed breakfast smoothie!)
- Greek Yogurt - Another source of vitamin D, calcium, and protein is full-fat Greek Yogurt and other dairy items like milk and cheese. (They can provide much needed probiotics but you may also need an additional supplement for digestive support.) Snacking on a cup of yogurt with granola or diced cheese, dried fruit, and nuts, can help curb your hunger when you’re one handed with a little one. Kefir drinks, fermented vegetables, and kombucha are other foods that help your gut replenish healthy flora. Purchase prepared cups that are low in sugar or have someone prepare mini cups for you so they’re ready to eat!
- Grass-fed beef, legumes, nuts, seeds, poultry, collagen, bone-broth soup or stews, and seafood - Protein is needed to rebuild tissues and muscles that were used during labor or to recover from a c-section. They help stabilize your blood sugar, provide you with much-needed iron, and promote wound healing. Simple meals can be prepared ahead of time like steak quesadillas, baggies of mixed nuts and seeds. (I love raw pumpkin or pepitas, raw cashews, shelled pistachios, and dry roasted sunflower seeds with sea salt...not too salty and packed with good stuff!)
- Want to know the best part? Dark chocolate is a good treat to have that’s a great source of antioxidants. They’re rich in cocoa solids which have flavonolds in them. They help lower blood pressure, cholesterol, lower your risk of diabetes, and improve cognition. With iron, fiber, magnesium, potassium, zinc, and selenium in them, to boot! About an ounce a day is the perfect sweet treat to boost your mood and curb your sweet tooth.
Find foods rich in Iron, Selenium, Vitamins B, Vitamin D, and Magnesium have shown to help with postpartum depression. Homeopathic supplements like Ignatia Amara and Sepia help with grief or loss feelings and thyroid imbalances or female issues.
Want to read more?
Check out the articles below for more information:
- I Won My Battle with PostPartum Depression
- Nutrients and Perinatal Depression
- Woman’s Health: Postpartum Depression
- Best Foods for new moms: Mood Boosters
Need help now? Call, click, or text:
National Helpline SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800/273-TALK (8255)
Local centers ready to help:
- Long Island Crisis Center in Bellmore 24/7 Crisis Hotline: 516/679-1111
- Response Crisis Center in Suffolk
- NYC Well / Here2Help Connect in Manhattan 24/7 Crisis Hotline Text WELL to 65173, Call 1-888-NYC-WELL (888/692-9355) or click here to chat on their website.
- Veterans Hotline Backup Centers in Manhattan
